Friday, August 17, 2012

There was a dream ...

June 6th 2011 is when it all began .That day i gave my GRE. I was the only one who knows how things were during the build up to the exam and it had absolutely nothing to do with the exam.My emotions,for the first time in my life, was out of my control for personal reasons.There was this fear, of the dream crumbling under the weight of my emotional catharsis at that time.I cant speculate what would have happened if i havent got what i got that day.May be i would have been fine , may be i wouldnt.It was much more than a score for me. My confidence, self belief were at stake ,like never before, that day.That day i saw a phoenix rise from its ashes.That day the dream was resuscitated.

After that everything fell into place, except for some minor obstacles.June 2012 came and i knew that the time has come to take flight and explore the unventured waters of life. Yes i was away from family during my college but i always used to visit them during my mid sem and end sem breaks. I was working at bangalore for the last two and a half years . But it was home away from home since i was staying with my college mates and hyderabad wasnt far away too.But USA will be, inspite of the world becoming a global village and the stuff like video chatting and telephone , it will still take me a complete day to go home. After being through my thick and thin (knowingly and unknowingly) , my roomies were practically my family too.One of my collegemates is at Raleigh and the fact that i will be staying with him for 5-6 months atleast was a consolation.

July 14th was my last day at Bangalore.I had two weeks after that to spend time with family and pack my stuff.My last month at bangalore will always be extra special to me for two reasons. One because of my brother who started working at bangalore and two because of my friends who gave me a great farewell.Being at bangalore for so long and not visiting a pub was the anomaly which i wanted to get rid off. Me and my friends had the plan for the last two weeks. Karaoke Night @Loveshack and Toit was fun and Rasta Cafe on the last night was the icing on the cake.Those two weeks at bangalore were like two days. There was this weird feeling while leaving my friends at bangalore. I didnt know when i will be meeting them again but i knew life would never be the same for us.

The last two weeks at home was busy. Meeting friends and family and packing my bags. Never got a moment to think about what i will be missing. I will miss my dad the most.It took all the strength i had to see him off with a smile on my face at the airport.

After completing the formalities at the university for the past 2-3 days, i now get some time to contemplate my last one year and specifically the last one month.I made new friends and met a lot of new people over here. I left my family and friends back home and came here .Some of them were successful in holding back their tears and some failed to.I sincerely hope that this dream will be worth all that !

                                                                                             Yours retrospectively

                                                    P.S - I miss you all

Saturday, April 2, 2011

I wish i were...

 I wish i were a Mozart,
Then i could have lost myself in composing a soothing symphony rather than listening to your mellifluous voice now.

I wish i were a Picasso,
Then nothing would have mattered to me except the palette in my hands and the incomplete painting on the canvas rather than your blissful visage now.

I wish i were an Archimedes,
Then i would have been so engrossed in something that i wouldn't mind losing my senses and running naked when i discover something groundbreaking rather than a simple conversation with you now.

I wish i were a Mother Theresa,
Then i would have had more dedication towards the welfare of the destitute and the needy than your welfare now.

I wish i were a Sherlock Holmes,
Then my curious mind would have been able to transport itself to the world of a murder mystery rather than your seemingly complex but simple world now.

I wish i were you for a while,
Then may be i would have understood what i mean to you rather than trying to figure it out myself now.

But then I realize if i were any of the above,
I may not have found your voice to be mellifluous.
I may not have found your visage to be blissful.
I may not have found a simple conversation with you to be so engrossing.
I might not have been able to transport myself to your seemingly complex but simple world.
I might not have had the painful pleasure of trying to figure you out.
I might not have been able to see you through my eyes.

So i feel serendipitously fortunate and fortunately serendipitous to be myself now rather than anyone i impulsively wished for then.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Love is not enough or is it???

Every 14th of February they try to sell me in gift wraps , diamond rings , greeting cards ,  red roses and what not. They try in vain to attach a price tag to me ranging from a couple of bucks to whatever you are ready to pay for. For one day they thrust me on every possible billboard you can imagine of ,for one day i am the most bankable superstar to literally every business under the sun and hopefully elsewhere too in the near future. For one day i command more than what Hollywood superstars earn in a decade , for one day i am the most popular celebrity in the world . For one day the color red belongs to me and for one day i feel powerful than god . I can neither be created nor destroyed. I just happen . My name is LOVE and i have a story to tell.

Nobody knows my date of birth and i have no religion.They say i am ubiquitous and yet hard to find .I am more confusing than the most complex of Einstein's theories.As far as i know , i think i was born when Adam set his eyes on Eve or the other way round(How could i know when i was still an unborn!!).From then onwards  i had many brand ambassadors. The Romeo- Juliets , the Devdas-Paros , the Heer-Ranjhas and the Valentines.I come in all forms and sizes. The Mother Theresas , the Buddhas ,Jesus and all such figures advocate me. Everyone craves for me but very few understand me.I have my siblings HAPPINESS and SADNESS . I am always accompanied by atleast one of them.

Were you ever crazy about someone ?Did you ever feel that you had your eyes only for someone?Did you ever continuously wake up to the memory of a person , day in and day out? Did you ever hear your heart beat so loudly that you were afraid that it might as well fall out of your mouth?? Did you ever lose yourself in a mysterious maze in someone's big beautiful eyes ?Did you ever feel at any point in life that you might be the happiest person in the world but someone else has the key to your vault of happiness? Did you ever feel that you are as good an artist as Da Vinci except for the fact that Monalisa is his greatest work of art on canvas but in your case its someone else , on a canvas called 'memory'?Did you ever feel that you were just a hug away from heaven and a kiss away from what lay beyond it? Did something ,someone did ,made you feel special ? . If your answer to some of these questions is a YES , you might not be a stranger to me.Yet , to some of you i am still a familiar stranger.

In my name wars were fought , throats were slit , acids were thrown on innocent faces , people were killed. Such acts of cruelty sullied my reputation upto an extent that i began to wonder whether my immortality is a boon or bane. I had nowhere to hide from the blame heaped on me by those confused and merciless souls.Then i realise , its not my fault if some of you jokers try to hide your unscrupulous acts beneath a mask of me. I am irreproachable and the purest of all emotions.

There was a time when i was thought to be enough , self sufficient. It was so long ago that i only have a distant memory of it. Today i am distressed that someday in the near future i wont even remember if there was  ever such a point in time.You live in a world where i am not enough . Some of you even think that i am not necessary now. For once i fear for my existence. I wonder whether i am really immortal and whether i will be able to stand the test of time. I never was in such a predicament.

Then i stumble upon on something , a truth that will be with me as long as i live . I saw a ray of hope in a person or may be an angel . This guy was in love with a girl and was about to get married to the love of his life. But then fate had a plan of its own. The girl met with an accident leaving her completely paralyzed for the rest of her life . She could not move but can only sense what is going on around her . She cant even to attend to the most personal and mundane tasks in everyday life without someone's help.She cant speak  , is  emaciated owing to treatments and therapy , lost her physical beauty owing to her mental distress and is now just  a shadow of her vibrant youth and the truth stared straight in to his face. She will always be in the same condition until she leaves this world. Her mom is all she had other than him.

The guy ,with no regard to common sense, decides to be with her and attend to her. Its been three years since then and he is still there for her. The only way she can respond now is through her tears and her smile.I can understand her mother being devoted to her for the rest of her life(After all no one can ever be as selfless as a mother to her child) but what reason does this guy have to be with her who is almost dead except for her metabolic activities and tears.He says its love and i being love think its madness.

May be what they say about me is true. May be i am madness.Such a chastening experience revitalised me . I can now be confident about my immortality for atleast a century before the prevailing conditions then will raise the same question again. I have my doubts about the guy being with her for the rest of her life but the three years of his devotion to her till date is enough for me to reinstall my faith in my existence. May be for most of the denizens of this world , i am not necessary. May not be even enough to the lucky few who find me. But there are some people to whom i am sufficient ,to whom i am enough . And this scares me because such people dont care about common sense!!!

                                                                                                         Yours lovingly

P.S : For all the singles out there i hope someday you complete your jigsaw puzzle of love ;) (I hope you dont end up with a tyrannosaurus rex after completing it :D)

FYI : The guy , girl story is not a fictitious one

Monday, February 7, 2011

The World Cup in GOD's own country

 The oldest cricket memory i have is a sturdy gentleman from Australia with mustache a'la Yosemite Sam of bugs bunny, swirling under a ball which was skied by an Indian batsman and in the end completed what they call a well judged catch .May be it was because of his mustache that i can remember the catch. The Australian was none other than the legendary David Boon.Since then cricket has been like an everyday fare for me till i was 15(Having an open space beside your house has its advantages ;) ).

The world cup , the game's showpiece event , is about to begin. What memories does an average cricket  fanatic in India associate with the event?.Scenes of kapil dev taking the catch of Viv Richards and the Indian team holding the silverware and showing it off from the Lord's pavilion come rushing through to everybody's mind. But sadly i wasnt even born then :( . My memory is filled with Sachin losing his wicket to a McGrath delivery in a world cup final ,crushing the hopes of millions.This time it has to be different.

World cup guarantees its heroes a place in the annals of history , a place in the hearts of the passionate admirers of the game who appreciate dravid's dead bat defence as much as klusener's brutal six over mid wicket , warne's jaw dropping ripper as much as walsh's impeccable line , sachin's text book drive as much as jayasuriya's effortless flick off the pads for six. All of these with equal ardor.It gives a mortal a chance at achieving immortality.What more can any player ask for?

Wasim Akram's prodigal swing which won Pakistan their only world cup in 1992.Jayasuriya's murderous cuts and flicks which won Sri Lanka the 1996 world cup.Lance Klusener's monstrous heaves over midwicket which almost won South Africa the  1999 cup.Shane Warne's cracker of a delivery which got rid of Gibbs in 99 semifinal.The most unfortunate runout, the mother of all mixups, of Allan Donald which denied SA their righteous claim of the cup in 99.Sachin's ferocious pull of Andy Caddick and then the upper cuts off Shoaib Akthar on his way to a memorable 98 in the 2003 cup.Ponting's brutal century in the final which denied India the 2003 winner tag.India's fate changing defeat at the hands of Bangladesh in 2007. Which ardent follower of the game can forget such memories associated with the cup??

Now the time has come again for the gladiators to take the centre stage . And may be the best chance for an Indian team to win it again. But for it to happen India require a talisman in the form of a player. Who will it be ?. Will it be the GOD himself again? or will it be the marauding yusuf pathan who is at his best now?. Will it be Dhoni's lady luck / captaincy or will it come from Sehwag's super hot blade? .Will it come from the underdog bowling department or will the jinx continue?.For now , only time can reveal its plans . The stage has been set.

No one can accurately predict the winner this time.Every team has chinks in its armor.The Australians are not at their best. The South Africans have a curse to break.The Srilankans are as deceptive as they ever were.The Indians as always can play like kings one day and paupers the other day.  Like wise every team has its game changers. The Sehwags ,the Sachins ,the Devilliers ,the Muralitharans ,the Husseys or the Pollards might decide who will lay their hands on the prestigious trophy. But at the end the team which has the Harbhajans , the Malingas , the Brett Lees or the Steyns might walk away with the prize.You never know.One thing is for sure the Wankhede will be the witness and so will the billions who follow the game.There is no better way to bask in one's glory.

28 years have passed since our victory at Lord's. The cup still continues to elude us.The time has come for the GOD to have the kohinoor in his crown.Lets hope his adidas blade has the final say on April 2nd , 2011. Let the games begin.

P.S. GOD doesnt need an introduction ;).